What do we believe about marriage?
Marriage is an institution ordained by God, an institution, which he designed for our pleasure and fulfillment. God created the institution of marriage at the very beginning of time. He created man in his own image and then made a companion for him in life. He brought the woman to the man and declared, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be united with his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24) Jesus Christ also honored marriage by his attendance at the wedding in Cana. In his ministry, Jesus confirmed marriage as a divine ordinance, an honorable relationship, and a lasting bond when he said, "What God has joined together let no man separate." The Apostle Paul highlighted the significance of marriage when he called marriage a symbol of the union of the Savior and the Church. The Bible tells us that Christians who marry confirm that marriage is a permanent relationship based on commitment. It is also an exclusive relationship, which holds within itself certain privileges that are not to be experienced outside of marriage. The Bible spells out clearly that mutual submission and respect are essential to the marriage relationship and that adultery or sex outside the marriage relationship is sinful and thereby damaging to our relationship with God and with one another.

So you're getting married?
Congratulations on your decision to get married! We're excited about getting together with you to answer your questions and to talk about Crossroads Community Church and our understanding of what constitutes a Christian approach to marriage. It's important for you to understand some of the basic commitments Crossroads Community Church of Naperville will ask of you if we decide to conduct your marriage ceremony. We will ask you to engage with us in the following ways:

1. Attend an initial interview with the Director of Pastoral Care.
2. Take a pre-marital inventory.
3. Meet with a pastor to discuss the inventory and to plan the wedding ceremony. (6 - 8 sessions)
4. Attend Crossroads Community Church worship services during the time of your engagement and to look for ways to become involved in the life of the church.
5. If you have been divorced we ask that there be a two year waiting period between the time of the divorce and your wedding. In addition, we ask that you attend a Divorce Recovery Program. This is offered at the Church.
6. Most importantly, we will ask you to do some serious reflection and discussion regarding the role Jesus Christ plays in your life, your commitment to follow Him and ways faith might nurture and encourage you in your marriage. We will want to know that you can subscribe in both principle and practice to the Christian concepts for marriage.
7. The fee for the pre-marital counseling, rehearsal and wedding is $300, due at the rehearsal. In order to insure that we have adequate time to walk through all these steps we ask that a minimum of six months be given to fulfill all the requirements.

Why do we ask engaged couples to commit to so much?
The bottom line answer is that we believe Marriage is God's idea. It's important. It's not to be entered into lightly. We believe we have a responsibility, before God, to prepare people for a marriage that will last a lifetime. Crossroads Community Church wants to help bust the cycle of divorce that plagues our culture. We also want to get to know you and have you get to know us. We believe that marriages thrive when faith is alive and when a couple is vitally linked to a faith community.

How to get started

• You can download the application now and get the process started.
• Please send us the completed application and the pre-marital questionnaire (one for each of you). We need to receive this information prior to the informational meeting.
• Please attach a picture of the two of you.
• Once you have completed and submitted the information, please call Pastor Michael Murphy 630.585.7777 or contact by email at pastormike@ccc4Christ.org he will set up the dates and times of the pre-marital informational meetings.

FAQ:
Frequently Asked Questions about Weddings at Crossroads Community Church of Naperville.

Can we be married at Crossroads Community church?
Since Crossroads is meeting at this time in Neuqua Valley High School, we do not have facilities to hold weddings in. We ask that you arrange for your own location. We can suggest some locations that have been used. Please call the church office to get that information.

We're looking for a church that will marry us? Do we have to be members of Crossroads Community Church of Naperville or a regular attendee?
You will notice in the wedding application that we ask couples to make us their church home during the time of their engagement. Before submitting your application, attend services for a few weeks. Ask yourself some questions. Is this the kind of church you'd feel comfortable attending week in and week out? Are the messages helping you to deal with the spiritual issues in your life? Do the people feel welcoming?

We have contemporary worship services at Neuqua Valley High School at 9:00am and 10:45am New Community on Wednesday Night at 5:30pm Dinner- 6:30pm Adult Worship-Children's Worship and Education at 6:30pm

We need to know right away if we can be married at Crossroads Community Church. We need to put a deposit down on a reception hall tomorrow. Can't you give us an answer today?
As a general rule we don't want to be rushed into making a decision based on the availability or unavailability of a reception hall. If you are part of our congregation, attend regularly and are known to us we can review your application and try to help you meet your deadline. There are no guarantees that we will be able to fit you into an interview time as quickly as you'd like, however.

Is it really necessary to go through all the premarital counseling?
Yes. We believe it's important to equip couples with the tools to look at their relationship realistically. How much time do we need to complete all the programming? Approximately 6-8 weeks for the premarital sessions. Divorce Recovery is an ongoing program that requires 6 weeks to complete.

We're older. Why do we need to take the counseling?
We've had couples of all ages and backgrounds attend our premarital sessions and without exception everyone walks away with some information or insight that helps the relationship. We believe that when you stop learning - you stop growing. Marriages thrive when people continue to grow together.

I was divorced several years ago and went to counseling. Do I really have to go to a divorce recovery program?
Yes. We've found that God uses these seminars in powerful ways. It helps clarify issues, facilitates continued healing, and draws people closer to Jesus. Sometimes people go and find that they are used by God to encourage others. If you've attended a divorce recovery program of comparable scope and sequence to ours we are more than willing to accept that program as a substitute for our own.

We're living together. Is that a problem?
First of all, we are thrilled that you want to be married. We believe marriage is what God wants for every couple that falls in love and see themselves in a permanent relationship. Secondly, we want to meet every couple where they are at without compromising our role as God's church. That can be tricky.

You see, it's our understanding that when a couple approaches our church for marriage that both the man and the woman will agree with both Christian belief and practice. It makes little sense to be married in the name of God but not to live in accord with his promises and commands.

Living together is very prevalent in today's society. Even though the culture as a whole accommodates this practice the Christian church has held strongly to the sanctity of marriage and the accompanying rights and privileges given to husbands and wives exclusively. We are also concerned that there is a higher incidence of divorce among folks who live together prior to marriage. If you are living together we will work with you in examining what all this means and explore with you some possible adjustments that will help you to both honor God and prepare well for your married life together.

We haven't attended worship services for a long time. We're not even very religious. Is this a problem?
We know that getting married is one of those 'turning point' events that can point us to new possibilities. We don't believe God magically shows up to bless weddings. God wants to walk with you daily in your marriage.

Many people, for a variety of reasons haven't had an opportunity to discuss issues of faith within a caring and nurturing environment. Many people come to Crossroads Community Church with questions and concerns about faith. We try to answer those questions and deal with those concerns honestly. It's important that matters of faith be explored. We don't want you to make wedding vows in the name of a God you don't know or follow.

All of our ministers want you to find a rich and vibrant life of faith. We believe that following Jesus is the ultimate calling for any person. That's why we'll want you to examine the role the Lord plays in your life. The pastor working with you will review the basics of the Christian faith and invite you to walk with Jesus on a daily basis.

We want you to be open and willing to learn, grow and experience the life of faith. If you're not open to exploring what a life with Jesus might look like then we're probably not a good fit for you.

We don't want to connect with Crossroads Community Church. We just want a church wedding. Will you rent us your facilities and provide a pastor?
No. Crossroads Community Church of Naperville is not a wedding chapel.

What is the wedding fee at Crossroads?
The fee, which covers all pre-marital sessions, the rehearsal and the wedding, is $300, payable at the time of the rehearsal.

To find out more please call Pastor Mike Murphy at (630)585-7777 ext. 14 or PastorMike@ccc4Christ.org.

Click here to download the marriage packet information guide and the application form (in Adobe PDF format).